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cartoon of two people shaking hands with a check mark in a circle above them signifying consent

Partners and How I Care.

Partners are two people who care about each other.

Consent is when two people say yes to an idea or an action.

They agree.

The first person asks a question.

The second person has free choice to say yes or no.

Answering yes is consent. Answering no is not consent. Not answering is not consent.

Videos about Consent

Blue Seat Studios 2.75 minutes - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3nhM9UlJjc&t=1s

Amaze 1.75 minutes - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vmsfhw-czA

Amaze 1.75 minutes - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D0OnZ0bIuo

Sex Ed for People with I/DD 3 minutes https://youtu.be/09m9Hv0Ajto?list=PLuEvYNNQ-dHeVhbyeJHx9s8oqsvBk621v

Dating

Learning how to date is complex.

There are many different steps to grow a relationship.

1. Be interested in someone. You notice how they look and act.

2. Meet them. Be yourself. Do not pretend you are someone different.

3. Get to know the other person. Learn if you like some of the same things.

4. Talk about you and what is important to you.

5. Ask questions about them and what is important to them.

6. Go on dates with others or alone. See if you have a good time.

7. As you enjoy time with each other, you may grow in your feelings. You may like each other more.

8. With time, you may build trust in each other. You may start helping each other.

9. You might decide that the person is a good match for you. Or you might decide they are not right for you. You should be honest and talk about this.

10. If you both agree that you want a bigger relationship, you may decide to spend more time together. Relationships grow little by little.

Video

Love on the Spectrum

Is a series on Netflix. 

  • Check out both the U.S. and the Australian series.
  • A relationship coach helps people with autism figure out how to date.
  • The people on the show are looking for respect, understanding and love.
  • This is a great show to watch and then talk about what you learn.

Here is the trailer for the U.S. series

Video

Sex Ed for People with ID: Healthy Relationships

National Council on Independent Living video 3 minutes

  • It is about flirting, consent, respect, honesty and safety.
  • Rooted in Rights makes media for and with persons with disabilities.
male and female with intellectual disabilities enjoying time together cooking and looking at a phone

Partners - "What feels good" in a relationship

  • Be kind.
  • Talk and listen.
  • Share how you are feeling.
  • Spend some time together and some apart.
  • Agree on rules
    •  How much time do we spend together?
      • What can we do together?
      • What is not OK to do together?
    • What can we tell other people about our relationship?
      • What should we keep as our own secrets?
    • Who else can we spend time with?
      • Who is not OK to spend time with?
      • What else can we do with other people?
    • What do we do if we are mad at each other?
  • Check on your rules to see if you need any changes.
  • Build trust.
  • Help each other.

You can use this Healthy Relationship workbook to work on your own rules.

It is an easy read from the Arc of Spokane.

Healthy Relationship workbook

Check out ways to describe if a partner is good or not so good for you.

Think about how a partner makes you feel.

Ask the people you trust what they think about your partner.

HEALTHY PARTNERS
 Trust Sharing Caring
Friendship Honesty Respect
Feel true to yourself Love Consent to touch
Hard work Decide together Listen to each other

UNHEALTHY PARTNERS
Sadness Anger Fighting a lot
Hurt feelings  Forced touch Hurt or pain
 One controls the other Keeps away from others Forces to keep secrets
 Scary threats Steal from you  Think only of self

Laws about Privacy and Sex

There are laws about private and public.

There are laws about touch and consent.

It is important to learn and follow these laws.

You are not allowed to show anyone your own private body parts or a picture of your private parts without adult consent. Adults are not allowed to show their private parts or private pictures to children.

  • You should be modest in public. You should dress and act in a way that shows dignity and respect for others.
  • You cannot act in a way that will shock or upset others, especially with private body parts.
  • Different people have different rules about modesty. So you need to be careful about how you act in public. Some people feel upset when they hear jokes about sex.

Is media, pictures, or movies about sex that are made to excite people sexually.

  • Pornography shows actors putting on a show. They are not real. They usually do not show what sex is like in healthy relationships. There are laws against adults consenting to watch pornography.

  • There are laws against watching pornography in public places.

  • There are laws against making pornography if the people in the pictures did not consent to being in the pictures.

  • There are laws against showing pornography to children under age 18.

  • There are laws against making pornography with children under age 18.

  • It is illegal to watch child pornography. The internet can be unsafe. Be careful about pop-ups or bad sites. If you open a bad site by mistake, close it right away. Tell someone you trust.

  • You can report internet child porn to https://report.cybertip.org/

Is any sex act without consent. It is against the law. It includes touching someone without their consent or forcing a person to do a sex act.

  • Sex with a minor means an adult doing any sex act with a child or teen. It is against the law. The law says that children are too young to consent or agree to sex.